The Man Who Sold The World
by PreciousRoy
Summary: A three part story of how money and power corrupted and destroyed what should have been a beautiful relationship. (KaiRay) (Rated M for drugs and explicit content. Inspired by three songs by the late, great David Bowie. Do not need to know/like them to read them. )
1. Modern Love

Greetings!

This is a very random one shot. (Edit: Has become a multi-part story XD)

I am an _enormous_ Bowie fan, and so decided on the second anniversary of his death, to write a fanfic retelling one of his songs.

Had a few song choices, maybe will write them in the future, if anyone wants to read them.

But this one is for Julia Fernandez Hiwatari, who suggested this song to write to.

If you're a Bowie fan, I hope you like it.

If you're not, hope you like it anyway XD

As the title suggests, this one shot is my own interpretation of the song Modern Love by David Bowie. (Lyrics at the bottom)

RIP, Starman!

* * *

Modern Love

A hacking, dry cough roused him from his sleep.

He groaned as his eyelids squeezed together harder, the light gently peering through the curtains making it impossible for him to drift back off.

Giving up, he forced them to open, blinking away the film of sleep covering his slightly bloodshot eyeballs.

As he did so, dull ache became apparent in his head.

...He'd hit the bar pretty hard last night.

It took a moment for him to remember he was in a hotel.

Yesterday had been quite the event.

Max Tate got married.

...The idiot.

He rolled himself over and startled as he saw a lump under the bedsheets next to him.

Ah yes...her. Now he remembered.

Cliche as it was, one of the bridesmaids fluttered her eyelashes at him as soon as he laid eyes on her.

He knew he wouldn't have to do much work. Easy prey. No hunting required.

He tensed slightly as she too seemed to stir from her sleep.

He hated this part...it never went well.

Blonde hair and a face smeared with yesterday's make-up popped up from under the covers and gave him a lazy smile.

"Mmm...morning..." she groaned out as she stretched herself awake.

"Hn..." he replied bluntly. He never engaged them in conversation afterwards. Made it more difficult to get them out the door.

She shifted closer and draped her arm across his bare chest.

"...Last night was great..." she said with a suggestive purr.

He arched a brow...it had been all right...scratched an itch...but what part of sloppy, drunk sex was 'great'?

"Uh huh..."

She shifted closer and planted kisses on his chest.

"...Wanna go again?" she giggled.

He felt a shiver of disgust and shifted away from her.

"No, thanks...if you wouldn't mind..." he hinted, nodding towards the door.

Her face fell.

"...What?"

He narrowed his crimson eyes at her.

"I said if you wouldn't mind...got stuff to do..."

She frowned and her mouth fell open.

"...You're just kicking me out?"

He scoffed.

"What did you think this was, sweetheart?"

She looked humiliated.

"...I don't know...I thought we hit it off...thought we could at least get coffee or...exchange numbers or something..."

He hated the look she was giving him. Like he was an asshole.

He'd gotten her off, hadn't he? He wasn't a complete dick. What more did she want from him?

"You basically threw yourself at me. I accepted. We're done here...now, for the last time, if you wouldn't mind?"

Her face heated up as she frowned, angrily throwing off the covers and pulling herself out of the bed. She scrambled her clothes up off the floor and roughly threw them on, never taking her pissed eyes off him as he lay back with his arms behind his head, looking like he could care less.

"...You're a pig." she spat as she finished dressing.

His brow arched in amusement.

"Says the woman who threw herself at me, legs open..."

Her jaw dropped yet again. This wasn't the guy she met yesterday...he'd been incredibly charming yesterday.

"Tina warned me about you! Should have listened to her! ….Well fine! Go ahead and fuck your way through the population! Hope you enjoy your pathetic, lonely life!"

A hard smirk appeared on his face.

"Thank you, I will. Good luck in your desperate attempt to find a man, too. God speed..."

She near enough let out a growl before turning on her heel. He heard a mutter as she left the room. He was pretty sure she said 'asshole'.

...He'd probably hear about this from Max. Tina was his wife. And one of...whatever the hell her name was's friends.

He adjusted his position and settled back down comfortably in to his bed. Now that unpleasantness was over, he could enjoy the rest of his morning. Making himself feel somewhat more human before meeting the others for lunch.

Step 1. Eat something.

He lazily grabbed his pack of smokes. Pulling one out and balancing it between his lips before picking up the receiver of the phone beside him.

As the overly polite voice of the hotel staff greeted him, he sparked his lighter, taking in an inhale and feeling an instant churn of queasiness.

Maybe he was more hungover than he thought...

He grunted an order for some room service before throwing the phone back down and smoking half his cigarette before stubbing it out, realising it was a mistake.

Since he had twenty minutes, there was time for Step 2. Shower.

As the warm water hit his slightly dehydrated body, his mind went over yesterday's event.

The pretty church.

The gathering of friends and family.

The blushing bride and proud groom.

...What a crock of shit.

He only went because it was Max. And Max had said he really wanted him to be there.

He was reluctant. He knew it was a selfish, but...

After attending Tyson and Kenny's wedding a few years back, he knew what was coming.

Lectures, pity and judgement.

" _You know, if you tried being a little nicer, all this could be yours!"_

" _Aren't you lonely?"_

" _Don't you get tired of living the whole...rich bachelor lifestyle?"_

Answer to all three: No, no and _fuck_ no.

Why did he need somebody?

Why did _people_ need somebody? Were they so incapable of being content with their own company?

He guessed the money helped...wouldn't be as much fun if you earned an average wage.

He worked hard. You had to as CEO of a global enterprise.

But he played harder.

If he wanted to take a week off and go to a private tropical island, all he'd have to do was snap his fingers.

If he wanted to snort cocaine off a smokin' hot stripper's chest, he was damn well gonna.

Why on earth would he give all that up for a wife and child?

They said 50% of marriages ended in divorce...the other 50% ended in death.

And kids? Why would you do that to yourself? They'd only bleed you dry and then leave you like a carcass in the sun.

Voltaire had been on his case about that, too. Wanting an heir to leave the precious empire to.

But Voltaire wasn't the boss any more...he was.

He called the shots in everything. His company and his life. No one was going to try and tell him what he should do or how he should live.

Washed and slightly more refreshed, he stepped out the shower.

He tied the bathrobe loosely around himself just in time for the knock at the door.

He slicked back his wet hair and went to the door, pulling it open before instantly feeling a smirk crack as the man on the other side ran his eyes over him barely covered.

The guy seemed to like what he saw.

A blonde man with emerald eyes around the same age as him was smartly dressed in his work uniform.

Pressed pants, white shirt. Black tie. Red waistcoat.

Kai liked what he saw, too...

"Room service!" he said with a polite smile.

Kai's glinting eyes dropped down to the badge on his red waistcoat.

 _Alex_

He knew he was smirking. So instead changed it for the sexiest smile he could muster.

"Thank you...Alex..." he said in a low, husky voice.

The other blushed ever so slightly.

"You're welcome, sir..." he said awkwardly before Kai stood aside and let him push the cart in.

Kai looked over his shoulder after him, getting a glimpse of the back of him as he mindlessly pushed the door closed.

Alex lifted the silver lid off the plate to show the food.

Kai arched a suggestive brow.

"My, my...that's a lot for little old me..."

He felt a smugness as he saw the breath catch in his throat. He tilted his head slightly.

"...I don't suppose you'd care to join me, would you?"

Alex flushed even more and tensed like a canary cornered by a cat. His eyes not knowing where to look.

"I-I'm flattered, sir...but I'm on the clock and all..." he stuttered out.

Kai's smile grew, not taking his smiling eyes off him as he stepped forward and picked up a piece of apple that lay on one of the small plates.

"...And what time do you knock off?" he asked before lifting the fruit to his mouth and taking a bite.

Alex grew even more red. He knew he was interested.

"...about six..." he answered with a slight crack in his voice as his eyes uncontrollably glanced between his half open robe to his eyes.

"Perfect...just in time for dinner...I'm sure you'll be _starving_ by then..." he said smoothly as he stepped even closer.

The canary's life was flashing before its eyes now.

"...Will that be all, sir?" he asked as he turned his head away.

"For now...yes...that's all..."

He nodded politely.

"Well...have a good day, sir..."

His smile grew as he looked him up and down again..

"Oh I will...you too, Alex..."

He walked on by him to leave.

Kai turned to watch him go.

"You know where I am..." he called after him.

Alex stopped at the door and peered over his shoulder again before taking his leave.

Kai took another victorious bite from the apple in his hand.

That hadn't been his best due to his slightly fragile state...but he still had the power to charm.

He'd be back.

He could tell when he'd reeled them in.

He snatched up the newspaper from the cart and draped himself on the bed with his coffee, ruffling the paper open and scanning to see what was going on in the world as he lit another cigarette.

Nothing new.

The same old same old.

The world was still a cesspool of corruption, fear and violence.

Religion was still causing wars.

Humanity was still slipping day by day.

But oh look, at least that beautiful Hollywood couple got married.

And that brought him back to thinking about Max again.

Poor sap.

The sunshine never dulled in him as he grew up.

He actually liked him, despite him being the main culprit for giving him the sympathetic looks and little heart-to-hearts...wondering how his poor friend could be without a partner.

He got excited messages when a picture of him with his latest squeeze got splashed in the papers, only to receive a disappointed apologetic one mere days or weeks later when he heard it was over.

" _Don't worry...you'll find the right one!"_

Kai never had it in him to tell him to shove his pity up his ass. He knew he meant well.

But his relationships always ended as quickly as they began.

They walked in to his life and just as quickly kept walking.

The allure of the money reeled them in. But then finding out he wasn't an easy man to get along with drove them away.

He even knew deep down he made an effort to drive them away. Just to be safe.

The kind of men and women he attracted were shallow. No signs of life in them. And that was perfect. It meant he wasn't in danger of getting attached to them. When they walked out the door, he could wave bye-bye without a care.

That was how it should be. He made the mistake of putting his trust in a man once.

He'd never fall for that again...

End.

 _I know when to go out_ _  
_ _And when to stay in_ _  
_ _Get things done_

 _I catch a paper boy_ _  
_ _But things don't really change_ _  
_ _I'm standing in the wind_ _  
_ _But I never wave bye-bye_

 _But I try,_ _I try_

 _There's no sign of life_ _  
_ _It's just the power to charm_ _  
_ _I'm lying in the rain_ _  
_ _But I never wave bye-bye_

 _But I try,_ _I try_

 _Never gonna fall for_ _  
_ _Modern love_ _walks beside me_ _  
_ _Modern love walks on by_ _  
_ _Modern love gets me to the church on time_

 _Church on time terrifies me_ _  
_ _Church on time makes me party_ _  
_ _Church on time puts my trust in God and man_

 _God and man no confessions_ _  
_ _God and man no religion_ _  
_ _God and man don't believe in modern love_

 _It's not really work_ _  
_ _It's just the power to charm_ _  
_ _Still standing in the wind_ _  
_ _But I never wave bye-bye_

 _But I try,_ _I try_

 _Never gonna fall for_ _  
_ _Modern love walks beside me_ _  
_ _Modern love walks on by_ _  
_ _Modern love gets me to the church on time_

 _Church on time terrifies me_ _  
_ _Church on time makes me party_ _  
_ _Church on time puts my trust in God and man_

 _God and man no confessions_ _  
_ _God and man no religion_ _  
_ _God and man don't believe in modern love_

 _Modern love walks beside me_ _  
_ _Modern love walks on by_ _  
_ _Modern love gets me to the church on time_

 _Church on time terrifies me_ _  
_ _Church on time makes me party_ _  
_ _Church on time puts my trust in God and man_

 _God and man no confessions_ _  
_ _God and man no religion_ _  
_ _God and man don't believe in modern love_

 _Modern love walks beside me_ _  
_ _Modern love walks on by_ _  
_ _Modern love walks beside me_ _  
_ _Modern love walks on by_ _  
_ _Never gonna fall for_ _  
_ _Modern love_ _  
_ _Modern love_


	2. China Girl

Hey all! Thanks for the reviews to Modern Love!

So, I got an idea to make this a short, three part story still using Bowie songs, just for fun.

This one uses the song 'China Girl' (as if you couldn't tell) and is set a few years before Modern Love.

I know the song for this chapter is 'China Girl', but this story is about a...Chinese boy. Just go with it XD. Lyrics at the bottom in case you're interested. Hope you enjoy it! Any comments would be appreciated if you feel inclined to leave one.

Shout out to LuxahHeart for helping me with a huuuuuge chunk of the dialogue between Kai and Ray.

I don't own the songs. Wish I did. I'd have a much better life.

 **Warning: This chapter contains drug use and abuse. Also a lemon some readers may not like. Will indicate the start and end for those who want to skip it.**

* * *

China Girl

The room was dark and had a stale air of tension. Each tick from the clock on the wall like water dripping on the head of a torture victim.

2:34am.

He still wasn't home. Again.

He yanked the zippo out his pocket and flipped the top, sparking the flame and bringing it to the cigarette that had been waiting to be lit for several minutes between his lips.

His eyes squinted hard as the trail of smoke danced in front them.

They had just passed the year mark. He'd made it an entire year with one partner.

And _only_ one partner.

Unheard of for him. God knows he wasn't known for his loyalty. Or for being in a real relationship.

After years of fighting it and self-denial, he'd gotten him to crack. To venture in to unknown waters.

But right now, it looked like holes were staring to form in the boat and it was starting to sink.

He blew out a huge plume of smoke.

Had it been his fault?

Was it him who had created this monster?

The first six months were strange. Because for the first time in his life, he was happy.

They were happy.

All he wanted was to keep him happy.

But after a lifetime of being a lone wolf, he wasn't sure how to do that.

All he could think to do was use what he had an abundance of.

Money and power.

Whatever he wanted, he got. No questions asked.

He didn't seem comfortable with it at first. Having grown up in a humble little village, he wasn't used to being lavished or having whatever he wanted when he asked for it.

He sure got a taste for it soon enough...

The sky was the limit. Anything he wanted to do, anything he wanted to have, anywhere he wanted to go was his on a plate.

The five star trips to wherever tickled his fancy.

Getting in to the most exclusive places, sometimes filled with some of the most famous people in the world.

At Kai's side, he felt like a somebody.

He loved the parties. He always was a social creature. And now he was rubbing elbows and mingling with the most exciting and beautiful people in the world.

As he got more in to the circles, the more invitations they got.

Kai quickly tired of all the gatherings. He was not one for being social...

That and he was getting a little fed up of standing at the bar while he went off enjoying himself with other people...

It wasn't too long before he realised, he didn't need to be at Kai's side to be a somebody.

He growled, pushing himself up from his chair and going to his desk, stubbing out the cigarette.

His eyes were getting heavy, but he needed to wait. He couldn't sleep. He was too anxious and uptight.

Where was he? Who was he with? And what the hell was he doing?

….Why was he such a mess without him? Why was he such a wreck...He was stronger than this, surely.

He pulled out his wallet, getting out a card and a bill. Cutting the small pile of white powder on his desk in to a line.

As he prepared his pick-me-up, his chest clenched.

He'd let him get close, like he'd said he wanted.

He'd opened himself up to him too, like he'd asked.

He'd fallen hard, finally succumbing to everything he'd tried to ignore over the years.

When he was with him, none of the dark parts of him haunted him. He could pretend none of it mattered, because he had him.

And it had turned to _this?_

He rolled the twenty in his hand in to a tube and leaned over, inhaling deeply as the bottom of the paper met the powder and ran along his release.

He shot back up, holding his nose with his eyes scrunched up and exhaled.

That one stung.

It wasn't long before that was replaced by the buzz he needed. Feeling a rush of high, a burst of energy.

He shot his dilated eyes to the clock as he heard a car pull up.

2:56am.

The rush of energy turned murderous when he heard multiple cackles outside.

He had the audacity to bring the party here? To _his_ house?

He growled and threw open his desk draw in a frenzy, reaching in and tucking it in the back of his pants before storming down to meet his guests...and supposed lover.

Ray fell through the door, giggling and hair disheveled. His select group of friends still laughing behind him, echoing through the large, spacious entrance.

"Shhhh!" he laughed back, pressing a finger to his mouth. They'd need to be quiet until they got to the recreation room in the basement. Didn't want to wake him... He and the three other men did their best to quietly walk through the without a sound.

"Right this way, gentlemen..." he whispered to them in a husky voice as he staggered in to the living room. As he walked in, the light turned on before he could lift his hand to the switch, met with powerful and frazzled crimson eyes. He froze. The blood red eyes moved from him to the others behind him, scanning them. Three tall, good-looking, well built men... His eyes came to look even more possessed.

"Who are your friends?" he asked coldly, sending a shiver down Ray's spine. He forced himself to square his shoulders.

"As you said, friends."he replied bluntly as he folded his arms.

"...Planning on having a little after party, huh?"

Ray cocked a brow. "So what if I was? I live here too, don't I?"

One of the guys glanced between them uncomfortably. Ray's guy had a crazy look in his eyes...he was intimidated.

"...Why don't you join us, huh?" he suggested, wanting to end the tension so they could get the drinks flowing again.

Kai's eyes narrowed at him.

"...You have five seconds to get the fuck out my house..." his voice rumbled out like thunder.

The men tensed.

Ray rolled his eyes.

"Oh, don't listen to him!" he called back to them before stalking up to Kai, his own eyes dilated. "What's the matter, baby? You jealous...?"

Kai's rage blazed. He wasn't going to have him make an asshole of him in front of...whoever the hell these pricks were.

"Five..." he barked as his eyes narrowed at Ray.

"Tsch, knew it...can't stand to see me talk or do anything else with anyone but you..."

He felt white heat surge through him as he tore his eyes off Ray to the other men.

"Four..."

The men tensed, what the hell had they walked in to?

Kai's eyes burned as he reached to the back of his pants and pulled out a gun, cocking it and pointing it at them.

"Three..." his warning voice boomed.

Ray's eyes widened, suddenly feeling stone cold sober.

"Kai what the hell!?"

"You really wanna mess with me!?" his deranged voice roared out at the trespassers in his house, the three of them stumbling back, falling over each other to get out the door.

" _Two_!" he cried out. The men scrambled to get out.

 _ **BANG.**_

He chuckled maniacally as he saw them yelp and shit their pants, running for their damn lives. He'd just put a hole in the wall.

The smell of gunpowder hitting his nose brought back his rush, adrenaline flowing.

That felt fantastic...

After hearing the door slam shut followed promptly by an engine firing up, he turned to his next problem, slowly bringing his hands away from his ears and managing to glare while looking terrified at the same time.

He smirked.

"Welcome home, sweetheart..." he said in a sweet voice with hint of poison dripping from it.

"Fuck you..." Ray bit back, "What the hell is the matter with you, you fucking psycho!"

Kai cracked his neck. "What's the matter with me? ...Let's see..." he said as he stalked around him. "The man who claims to love me spends more time out doing god knows what, with god knows who...all on my dime. And he expects me to just lie down and take it?"

His golden eyes flared like the sun.

"What? I'm not allowed to have a life?" he spat back defensively. Kai stopped his pacing and grabbed his arm, yanking him forward.

"Oh, you can...but you'd better decide whether it's one that has me in it or not!" he spat in his face angrily, "I will not be used...you hear me?"

Ray's mouth curled in to a fanged smirk as he moved himself closer, getting in his face.

"Well aren't you just adorable when you're jealous?" Ray's voice slithered out.

Kai's arm moved, the irritability in him screaming at him to strike him, but managed to hold it back. "You'd better watch your mouth..." he growled out as he tightened his grip on his arm, "you think you can just walk all over me like this!? Use me as a free ride!?" He started to yell.

Ray put a finger to Kai's mouth, a sloppy grin on his face.

"Shhhhh. C'mon baby, you know it's not like that." He slurred out.

Kai squeezed his arm one more time before pushing him back. "You're not sweet talking your way out of this, Ray! This ends _now_!" His voice bellowed. "Who the fuck were those guys!? WHERE do you keep disappearing to!?"

Ray's dazed eyes narrowed at him, part of him cautious of the gun still in his hand, the other part not really caring. "I said I went out, am I not allowed to do that or am I some kind of slave that has to be here all the damn time?" He spat back at him.

Kai's eye twitched. His heart slamming erratically as his synapses seemed to be working overtime. "Are you too stupid to see you're playing with fire here? You really think you can fuck around behind my back, leech off me...?"

"Oh shut your mouth you idiot, would I really do that to you? You think I'm a whore?!" Ray snarled, folding his arms over his chest.

Kai felt himself lose control. He was calling _him_ an idiot?! _He_ was making a fool of _him_!? He stormed up to him, waving the gun in his face in a blind rage. "That's _exactly_ what you are! Exactly what you've become! You think I'm blind!? I've seen you rubbing up against anyone who looked at you!"

Ray's eyes widened at the gun in his face, his heart skipping a beat. He had never seen Kai like this before, it terrified him to no end. He had really lost it tonight, but he wasn't going to take the blame for it. He was a big boy now, he could do whatever he pleased. It was his life, his body. If he wanted to go rub up on some random then he sure as hell was going to.

"Get the fuck out of my face with that you psycho!" He screeched and pushed on Kai's chest away from him, making sure to take an equal step back. "Like you're any fucking saint! Before I came along how many fucking sluts did you bed yourself, huh?! 'Cus I've lost count. It's my fucking body, and if you came out with me more often I wouldn't _have_ to rub up against other people!"

Kai's chest heaved as he took in what was essentially a confession. Images of countless, faceless men doing things to what was his. Who he loved...

"...How many?" his voice rumbled out darkly.

Ray blinked at him a few times, the fuck kind of question was that? "What are you talking about, how many what?"

His deranged eyes lifted to him as he shook with anger. "How many times have you fucked someone behind my back!?"

Ray rolled his eyes, but his back tensed on him. "How _dare_ you! You should know me better than that!"

Kai's eyes faltered slightly, giving off a hint of his heartache. "I thought I did..."

"Oh, you gonna cry?" Ray asked in a patronizing voice, his eyes hard against him. "Be a man for once." He scoffed.

He snapped.

One push too far.

His body trembled furiously as his irises disappeared under his pupils. His arm flew out and fired a shot to the side of Ray with a loud bang, shattering the glass in the cabinet behind him.

As Ray leapt out his skin, he hurtled at him, grabbing the sides of his head and fisting his hair, pressing the freshly shot metal against the right side of his head.

"Oh, my little China doll..." his low, dark voice streamed out, "you should think twice before you speak...and you should be more careful where you hide that box of condoms that keeps getting emptier..."

Ray's eyes widened slightly, "The hell you doing going through my shit?!" He spat and wrangled himself out of Kai's hold, some of his hair getting pulled out.

Kai clenched his fists at his sides, gripping the hair he'd ripped out. "You dare turn this on me...I gave you everything and _this_ is how you repay me!?"

"I have done nothing WRONG!" Ray yelled back, his voice matching Kai's as it echoed through the house.

"Where are those condoms disappearing to then, Ray!? We sure as hell don't use them!" He roared back.

Ray faltered, his mouth opening to speak but nothing came out. How could he keep denying it, keep lying to him to his face?

"Fine, you want to know how many?! I'll be happy to oblige." He started off in a sneer, as he did his best to stand his ground in front of him.

"Your secretary, twice, in your office on your fucking desk. The driver, in the back seat of your car, five times. Those three that came here, all at once. Along with a long list of other nameless assholes that wanted a piece of me." He said, eyes boring into Kai's without a look of guilt upon his face. Every word slipping off his tongue smoothly, his voice like ice with a fire behind it. "Maybe I wouldn't need to get fucked by others if you stepped every now and then." He added, eyeing him hard.

He could only stare as every vicious word pierced him with a knife. He knew it, but to that extent...? What had he done wrong?

"I was right here..." his voice leaked out before he had chance to stop it.

"Tch, no you weren't." He sneered back. "How many times have I asked you go to out with me? How many times have I asked you just to spend some time with me? Huh?! I can't even remember the last time we went out together, let alone had dinner together."

He couldn't take the raw pain in his chest. It was agonising. Not like anything he'd felt before. He tried to push down the rare tears making their way up to his eyes.

"I'm working Ray! ...Keeping you in enough money to go around screwing anything that _moves_!"

A white flash of rage burst in his eyes as his humiliation hit him in the face.

His secretary?

His driver?

People that were supposed to respect him...

He let out a powerful cry, like a wild animal and tore through the living room, grabbing whatever he could and hurling them across the room, after several loud smashes, he grabbed whatever he could and hurled them in Ray's direction.

Ray dodged, best he could through his high and drunken state, slowly sobering up the more things were thrown at him. A book came hurling at his face and he caught it, throwing it back at him with a powerful angry cry. "You're a real fucking asshole, you know that?!"

Kai sucked in air roughly and spat it out just as roughly through his teeth, growls bursting out with every breath as his body pulsed rapidly with hurt, adrenaline and anger. Enough...Ray had made a fool of him for the last time. He threw himself at him, wrapping his hand around his throat and slamming him against the wall, lifting his shaking hand holding the gun to Ray's temple.

His fiercely dilated eyes drilled in to him. "You...you piece of shit..." he strained out in both rage and burning hurt before letting the rage take over, pushing the metal against his head harder. "You've messed with the wrong man...you hear me? I will... _ruin_ you..." his unhinged voice strew out.

Hot, angry, and frustrated tears rolled down Ray's face, his body shaking harder than it ever had as the cold metal touched his skin. Some how he found it in himself to grab at Kai's wrist, his hand making Kai's shake in turn as he met his eyes again. "You already have."

Kai forced his eyes to glare, with as much force as he could manage. Part of him knew he was right...he'd created this thing in front of him.

"Oh, you have no idea what I'm capable of..." he bit back icily, "And you have no idea what you just gave up...You think I'm powerful now? You wait and see what's in store...you could have had the man that's going to rule the fucking world..."

Ray's lip quivered.

"Pft, you're a fucking dumbass. And you not knowing what I was doing until just recently only proves it." Ray spat back at him.

Kai's mouth curled in to an evil smirk. "You think I didn't know?"

Ray studied him hard, maybe he did know when it started, maybe he didn't but what did it matter now? If he had known all along, then why did he let him keep doing it? "Why then?" His voice came out shaky, holding Kai's murderous gaze.

Kai leaned his face him closer, seeing the glimmer of fear as he tightened his grip.

"To see how far you'd go..." he lied.

The truth was, he couldn't bare to face it.

"You impressed then?" Ray asked with a cocky attitude that had no place in the situation he was in, not having anything else come to mind with that damn gun still pressed to his head.

Kai kept his smirk even though his heart broke a little more.

Impressed? No...

Devastated.

"Oh yeh...had no idea you had it in you..." his chilling voice slithered out, "I hope you'll be just as impressed at what I give back..."

Ray tried not to show that he was scared, but he had to force the lump in his throat and his back was covered in a nervous sweat. "You really going to kill me? The fucking best thing that's ever happened to you?" He asked in a strong voice, having to force himself to sound that way even though his mind was screaming at him to stop, apologize for what he had done and just leave with his tail between his legs. Part of him, the stupid high and drunk part, liked this side of him though. This strong, dominate man he had fallen in love with. Not the weak excuse he had become over the year they had been together who sat behind a desk and wasted himself away. Where was the man who took him out on exciting adventures, the one who showed him how to do a line of coke and get away with pretty much anything because they had the money to do it? He had become stiff, boring, and Ray had moved on but he still wanted him, no matter how badly Kai had changed. He really did love him, but he was also the reason this happened. He should have stopped him, a long time ago, but he wasn't man enough to step up and take back what was his.

Kai arched a smug brow at his nerves. "Kill you? Aw, my little China doll...what do you take me for? Where would the fun be in wasting you?" He jabbed back before letting out another demented chuckle. "And best thing to ever happen to me? You see what I have here?" He asked with a laugh in his voice as he gestured around with his gun. "You were nothing but a pet to me...just turned out you made the mistake of being an disloyal one..."

A cold shiver ran down his back, he didn't like that laugh of his. He never did, not even when they were teenagers. It only brought bad, almost long forgotten, memories. But once again, the other side of him, got excited. He could see it in his eyes, he was high as well, maybe he could work it to his advantage. Get him on his knees and suck him dry, show him who the real 'pet' was. A smirk round up his own face as he met his eyes, "Then you should have had a shorter leash."

Kai felt the air around them get hot. Partly from burning anger, partly from arousal. He was as beautiful as he was treacherous...

He pulled the gun away from his head and used his hand to tilt up his head, smirking his trademark smirk. "Silly me, huh?"

 **( xxxx Starts Here xxxx)**

Ray's eyes pierced into him, not missing the look he had in those beautiful pools of crimson. With his free hand, the other having been latched onto Kai's wrist, he walked his fingers up the side of his arm towards his neck. "Mhmm." He purred out as he nodded best he could with Kai's fingers under his chin. His touch setting his skin on fire like it always did.

Kai smirked harder. He was too easy... What the hell...one last hurrah before he went to work on keeping his word... Not one he'd soon forget either...

He crashed his lips to his, pushing him back against the wall, finally loosening his grip on Ray's throat, but making sure to keep it there. He was the boss after all, he needed to keep him in his place.

Another purr ripped through him, his body trembling as he pressed it into Kai's as he pulled away from the wall slightly. His hand that had traveled towards his neck grabbed at the strands of hair there his fingers dug into them, his nails embedding into Kai's pale skin. His other hand went for his hip, his fingers hooking into the top of his pants and pulled him harder against him where he ground their hips together. His mouth parted, inviting Kai to explore his mouth, with a moan that would put a porn star to shame.

Kai felt anger boil in the pit of his gut as he envisioned him making that noise for however many other men...feeling a hint of disgust at him grinding against him as well a confusing need. Ray's mouth opened, his own wanting to delve in there...his pushed him off. Using the hand holding the gun to wipe his mouth to remind him it was still there.

"Upstairs. Now." He ordered.

Ray looked at him for a second, it was going to be a painful thirteen steps up those stairs, but that gun still in Kai's hands scared him and he did as he was told, peeling himself off the wall and pushing past him without a word. As he started his ascent part of him wanted to get up there and get his shit and get out. The other was congratulating himself for a job well done, he had gotten him to crack.

Kai smirked and followed, feeling powerful. Just what he needed.

When they reached the top of the stairs, he grabbed him from behind, making sure to push the gun in to his back while his free hand reached around and stroked the front of his pants. "Our room. Get undressed and get on the bed. I'll be there in a second..." his husky voice instructed.

He watched Ray walk in to their room before walking faster to his study. His buzz was dying down. If he was going to give him a ride to remember, he'd need a boost. He picked up the card still laying next to the small pile of powder and cut himself another line, giving it a strong snort before coming up again, wiping his nose of the excess. It wasn't long before the sensational rush hit him, as well as a cracked grin. He was ready.

Ray slipped out of his shoes first, kicking them off by the bedroom door before he started to peel off his low cut tank top that had shown off his midriff and tossed them to the side as he walked towards their bed. Leaving a trail of scattered clothes behind him, he left his knee length hair in the high pony tail he had worn it in to go out, climbing on top and in the middle of their bed.

With his nerves having been almost shot and his high crashing down he momentarily forgot why he was up there, wanting to bury himself under the heavy sheets and just go to sleep. The only reminder he had of what he was fixing to do was his cock twitching between his legs and he laid on his stomach, grinding to get some of the pressure off. If Kai walked in on him, who gave a shit, he didn't say he couldn't get ready.

On cue, Kai walked in. His eyes taking in the sight and feeling himself harden in an instant as his maniacal grin grew and stretched across his face.

What a whore he was...

"Hn, excitable, are we?" his husky voice broke the silence in the room.

Ray just rolled his head to look at him and smirked, showing his fangs and he ground down harder into their bed with a wiggle of his ass. "Come and find out." He purred as he pawed at the bed like a cat. Just how he knew he liked him to be.

Kai had never experienced this...being both enraged and feeling a burning hate and turned at the same time. He lifted the gun again. "I give the orders here, kitten..." he spat as he used his free hand to undo his belt.

Ray's eyes widened slightly, why the hell did he still have that? He stopped moving, surprised that he was hard still as Kai stalked over towards the bed. His mouth had gone dry on him and he swallowed hard as he kept his eyes on the gun.

His grin managed to get even larger as he saw the cockiness drain from him. That's right...he was in charge here... He stopped at the edge of the bed and slowly unzipped his pants. "Come put that _pretty_ mouth of yours to work..."

Ray arched a brow at him but did as he was told, crawling to the edge of the bed on his knees to where Kai stood and undid the rest of his pants for him and tugged them down. Getting off the bed, onto his knees again on the floor, well aware how close the back of his head was next to the mattresses; he had just pinned himself between the two. Pushing down the slight panic he reached up, trying to stop his hands from trembling, as he took Kai's length into a firm grip before slowly licking out at the head. Working his hand that held him slowly, painfully slow as he kept focus on his head. Every now and then he'd lick along the length of it, squeeze a little harder, but had denied him a full on blow.

Kai's crazed eyes hazed over as he looked down at him and watched him work. He let a slight, deep moan escape before putting the gun to his head.

"That's not how I like it...or did you lose track of who likes what?" he spat viciously.

Another nervous sweat covered him but he dared to look up at him through his bangs, seeps of gold only coming through the curtain of ebony and he held his gaze as he opened his mouth a little wider and took him into the back of his throat. His hand went to the base, squeezing him harder as he pulled back halfway and then pulled him back in deep. His own moan tearing through him. It didn't matter how many cocks he had sucked off the past few months, Kai's would always be his favorite.

Kai sucked in a hard breath before rolling his head back, thighs tensing and letting out a gruff moan. "That's it, baby...just like that..."

Ray lost his nervousness, the worry gone to the back of his head as he picked up an even pace. Running his tongue along the underside of him, the tip hitting the back of his throat each time he pulled him back in. He shifted on his knees some, getting lower and opening his throat up as wide as he could and pulled him in completely. His hands had gone to the side of Kai's thighs, to ground himself, pausing for just a second to get used to him that far down his throat before he got to work again.

Kai let out ragged breaths as he looked down at him, face flushing in a lust induced fever. His heart clenched harder as he reminded himself this wasn't meant to be a night of intimacy... This was supposed to teach him a lesson. He roughly grabbed the back of Ray's head and fisted a handful of hair before starting to move his hips. He said he'd ruin him and he meant it. His first target was his throat.

Claws came out, latching onto the pale flesh of Kai's thighs as he choked, trying to push him off but his hold on his head was too strong and his reflux was trying hard to kick in on him. He bit down the bile, his stomach twisting in knots as it ran back down his throat mixed with the precum and his thicker saliva. He tried to moan, but it didn't feel good any more, he was hurting him... He had never hurt him before... He would have bit him but that gun was still near his head and he thought better of it. The only thing he could do was take it in stride, eventually he'd tire out, but he knew his throat would be fucked for days.

Kai hissed as the claws scratched his thighs. But weirdly, it just added to his bitter pleasure. He could feel him squirming, not enjoying it like he usually did.

This is what you get for being such a man-whore...

He thrust in to him harder, fucking his skull roughly until he forced himself to stop. Why fill yourself up on bread and deny yourself the joys of the main course?

"Get on that bed...all fours...head down." he barked breathlessly.

Ray glared up at him, panting hard and with each intake his throat stung. It felt like he had just swallowed razor blades and glass, which left his voice useless to protest. He unlatched himself from Kai's legs, leaving drops of blood to roll down, as he pulled himself onto the bed once more and got into the position Kai had demanded.

Kai let out another filthy chuckle as he watched him splay himself for him, reaching and snatching the tube of lubricant from the night stand before hesitating. screwing him dry would hurt more...but then again wouldn't feel good for him either. He flipped the cap and coated himself. But if he thought he'd stretch him out, he had another thing coming, he thought before another burst of hot anger flared in his gut. He'd been stretched out plenty recently anyway... He grabbed Ray's hips and threw himself in without warning, burying himself deep while letting out a vicious grunt.

Hot tears broke the second Kai had thrown himself in, his nails tearing at the sheets below him as he jerked to pull away. His back, legs, arms, everything tensed and his muscles screamed and clamped around him. He had to bite his lip to keep from screaming, drawing his own blood where it spilled down his chin. He tried to breathe, but all he managed to do was choke on a sob.

The part of him that loved him felt remorse as he heard him cry. Part of him wanted to stop. But the bitter, angry, betrayed part now ruled. He threw himself in to him mercilessly, hearing the bed creak and Ray's ragged breathing and whimpers.

"Tell me you're sorry..." he grunted out gruffly.

Ray's lip quivered as he tried to speak but with every jerk and pull, Kai filling him each time, hurting him, he couldn't get the words off his tongue. He wanted to, he wanted to apologize and take back what he had done but even if he did he didn't think Kai would let up. He had seen it in his eyes, he was high again, they both had been high plenty of times doing this. But none of those times ever ended up like this. It clicked quickly. He was being punished. He was being hurt, because he had hurt him. In no way another person should. "I'm sorry." He sobbed out, gripping the sheets harder as tears rolled down his face.

Kai felt his eyes prickle. He thought hearing it would make it better. Take at least some of the pain away, but it didn't... He just gripped his hips harder and rammed in to him harder. " _I don't believe you_!" his voice screeched.

"Kai!" Ray cried out in a scream, something he had never done before. But then again, this had never happened before. "S-Stop... Stop! STOP!" He screamed out, praying to any higher power that he would, he wasn't that much of a monster. At least he hoped...

An awful shudder went down his spine as he heard Ray beg him to stop. With one more thrust, he slumped over him. He was nowhere near climax...and as much as he wanted to hurt him and hurt him bad, he couldn't. He was a lot of things, but a rapist wasn't one of them.

Breathing erratically, he pulled himself out roughly before standing himself up tall. "What's the matter...huh?"

Quickly, like his life depended on it, he crawled towards the head board pulling his knees to his chest as he glared hard. His pupils were slit, his face tear stained and flushed red. He bared his fangs at him in a warning, hissing as he did so. "The fuck do you think is wrong?!" He screamed at him, his throat burning just as badly as his backside was.

He felt guilt grip him. Remorse. But kept it buried deep. He'd brought this on himself...he'd warned him not to mess with him, and he'd laughed in his face.

"What? Can't take a dick any more? Had your fill?" he snarled angrily.

"You know what you're doing to me... You get a sick kick out of it, do you?!" He screamed again, willing to keep the tears from coming out.

 **( xxxxx Ends Here xxxxxx)**

Kai burned, feeling his temper soar as he grabbed the gun and fired it at the headboard.

 _ **"Just like you enjoyed toying with me all this time?! Ripping my heart out?!**_ **"** he screamed back louder.

Ray let out a yelp as the wood broke into a thousands pieces beside his head, his eyes widened in fear as he just stared at him. He didn't know what prompted him to do it, but he got up on his knees and held his arms out like he was being crucified.

"Do it then!" He screamed, his tears rolling down his face as he held his gaze.

In a drug-induced frenzy he moved the gun to point at Ray's head. Holding it there and feeling his arm tremble. He held it there silently for what felt like hours as his head raced through this entire mess, feeling his heart break all over again as if it was the first time he'd seen it all. He let out a sound like a wounded animal before lunging forward and backhanding the side of his head powerfully instead, needing some kind of violent release.

" _ **You said you loved me!**_ " he roared out.

Ray fell back onto the bed, his head searing with pain as his world started to spin on him. He didn't move for the fear he felt if he did. Maybe somewhere deep down he still did love him, but after all this time, it got lost in the drugs, the alcohol, the fame and fortune. The power. He didn't know what to tell him, instead he turned his head away from him and tried to shield himself with his arms and curled his knees closer to his chest, trembling like a child on their bed, his tears unrelenting.

Kai felt his whole body go heavy and numb, turning himself and flopping himself down to sit on the bed. His hands running up the side of his head. "How could you do this to me!?" he asked in an indistinguishable voice.

"...I'm sorry..." Ray's voice shook out of him, his fingers curling into the sheets by his face. "I'm so sorry..."

He turned his head, red with rage and hurt. "I gave you _everything!_ " he yelled, "Why wasn't it enough!?"

Ray shook his head, slowly for fear if he did any harder the pain would flare. "I don't know..." He choked out, still unable to look at him, his throat still burning but at least the burn in his backside was dying down.

Kai heaved, feeling his chest explode with pain.

"Why wasn't I enough for you?!" he demanded to know.

"I don't know..." He repeated in a quieter voice than before, "You were everything I wanted before... And then you just kept giving me more and more... I don't know what happened Kai... I really don't..." Kai fought the tears as hard as he could...he'd be damned if he cried in front of the greedy, cheating son of a bitch. "I knew you were a mistake..." he hissed out.

Ray curled in on himself tighter, he didn't know what part of this he was crying over now; the hurt he had caused him, the betrayal, what had just transpired or Kai's words. How did he let this go so far, when had he lost who he was? Maybe Kai was actually the mistake, not him. He wasn't cut out for this kind of life, but he had lapped it up hungrily and greedily without a second care in the world. He had never had a reason to care, not when he had Kai at his side. Slowly and carefully he picked himself up into a sitting position, not to anger either his head or Kai and moved towards him on the opposite side of the bed but he refrained from reaching out to him. "I know I can never make it up to you... What I've done to you, but I am sorry... I don't have any excuses for what I did, and I'm sorry you feel that way about me now."

Kai turned his head, worried he was losing the battle to keep his tears at bay. His high was plummeting, only adding to the crippling low feeling his whole body was enduring. "...All I ever wanted was to make you happy..." his voice strained out softly.

"And all I ever wanted was you..." He said, his voice faring no better than Kai's as his tears continued to roll down his face. "I wish I knew what happened along the way that brought us to where we are now."

Kai looked down at the gun in his hand, cocking the chamber and emptying the remaining bullets on the floor before tossing it lazily across the room. His head was swirling. The comedown finally hitting. He needed quiet...

He tried to ignore Ray as he kicked his feet up and lay back on his bed, draping an arm over his aching eyes.

Ray watched him for a second, contemplating what he should do. The pain in his head was starting to fade, Kai hadn't hit him as hard as he knew he could have, and like the damn fool he was he cautiously laid down beside him. Watching him carefully as he did so, and even more as he reached out a little and put his hand on his chest.

Kai's heart bled as he felt him move in to him and draped the arm that was over his eyes around him, gently brushing his fingertips through his hair.

Ray took that as a sign to get closer, draping his leg over Kai's as he rested his head just below his chin. Listening to his heart beat, his head rising and falling with the movements of his chest. His fingers curled over his chest, his body starting to tremble on him again as he bit back the tears. How could he have hurt this wonderful creature who had given him the world and more? What kind of monster had he become, to do such a thing to the man he always wanted? He thought about apologizing again but the words got lost, half afraid that it would break this momentary calm. Everything falling on his shoulders, and the more Kai breathed in deeply his own eye lids started to get heavy on him.

Kai kept his restless eyes closed as he inwardly cringed at him wrapping himself around him like nothing had happened.

He waited. Listening to Ray's breathing getting slower and deeper until he was certain he was asleep.

He glanced at the clock. Almost 4am.

He left it a little longer before slowly and gently untangling himself from the filthy liar beside him, sleeping peacefully with an angelic face as if butter wouldn't melt and felt his stomach churn.

He quietly took himself out the room to the comfort of his study, angrily snatching the cigarettes off his desk and sparking his lighter, inhaling quickly and blowing out a light plume as he plotted his next move.

He fought with himself, conflicted. He loved him...despite all of this, he still did.

There was just one problem...he'd made a threat.

And he was a man of his word...

He picked up his phone and got to work, setting the wheels in motion.

Ray still slept soundly, darkness still covering the world outside when the door threw open.

Two men barged in, grabbing hold of him and yanking him up.

As his eyes shot open, a sack was shoved over his head, just in time for him to scream in panic.

He struggled as the pairs of rough hands dragged him, legs kicking and screaming in disorientated panic across the floor.

Kai heaved himself up from the couch in the living room as he heard the screaming start. In turn setting his own off inside him as the internal battle continued to rage on in full force.

He'd brought this on himself, he reasoned. He knew he wasn't a man you crossed. Knew he had ways and means to destroy those who did.

...And he did it anyway.

He thought he had the upper hand because he loved him. Thought it made him immune.

He was wrong.

He heard the screaming and pathetic pleading mixed in with thuds as the bodies he'd hired to come get him dragged him down the stairs roughly, taking himself to the doorway just as they were halfway down.

"Kai!" Ray's distressed voice called out, "Kai, please! I'm sorry!" he sobbed frantically and desperately.

His heart faltered for a second as he folded his arms in the doorway before running over the long list of betrayals he'd admitted.

His eyes hardened.

He was at the bottom of the stairs now, on his way to the door.

"Kai, please!" he cried out.

"Wait." Kai barked bluntly.

The two goons stopped in their tracks as commanded.

Ray felt a glimmer of hope, hardly noticeable as his heart slammed violently against his chest. Trembling and weeping.

Kai slithered over to him, getting just close enough to smell the fear radiating out his pores.

Something in him felt satisfaction. Killing the remorse he felt.

"Aw...my little China doll..." he said in an icy, faux sympathetic voice, "you shouldn't have messed with me..."

Ray trembled harder as his voice sent paralysing shivers down him.

Kai's eyes burst in to spiteful flames as he leaned in closer.

"I'll ruin everything you are..." he reminded him slowly and bitterly.

The sack in front of him shook.

"Kai..." he choked out.

He tore his eyes to his lackeys, taking a step away and giving them the nod.

Their powerful legs stepped forward, resuming their orders and once again pleading, terrified screaming echoed the house.

Kai stood where he was, waiting for them to leave before he finally let a tear slip down his face. The screaming getting more distant before a car door slammed shut.

Then there was silence.

End.

Oh, oh, oh, little China girl  
Oh, oh, oh, little China girl

I could escape this feeling, with my China girl  
I feel a wreck without my, little China girl  
I hear her heart beating, loud as thunder  
Saw their stars crashing  
I'm a mess without my, little China girl  
Wake up mornings where's my, little China girl  
I hear her heart beating, loud as thunder  
Saw they stars crashing down  
I feel tragic like I'm Marlon Brando  
When I look at my China girl  
I could pretend that nothing really meant too much  
When I look at my China girl  
I stumble into town just like a sacred cow  
Visions of swastikas in my head  
Plans for everyone  
It's in the whites of my eyes  
My little China girl  
You shouldn't mess with me  
I'll ruin everything you are  
You know, I'll give you television  
I'll give you eyes of blue  
I'll give you a man who wants to rule the world  
And when I get excited  
My little China girl says  
Oh baby, just you shut your mouth  
She says, sh-sh-shhh  
She says, sh-sh-shhh  
She says  
She says  
And when I get excited  
My little China girl says  
Oh baby, just you shut your mouth  
And when I get excited  
My little China girl says  
Oh baby, just you shut your mouth  
She says, sh-sh-shhh  
She says

Oh, oh, oh, little China girl  
Oh, oh, oh, little China girl  
Oh, oh, oh, little China girl  
Oh, oh, oh, little China girl


	3. The Man Who Sold the World

Hey all! Thanks to those who read or reviewed this!

So...the second chapter, I'm aware, went kinda dark.

This is the last part of the story, and it is not dark like the last one.

It takes place the night before the first chapter.

As the title suggests, this last chapter is inspired by Bowie's _The Man Who Sold The World._ Lyrics at the bottom like before if you happen to be interested.

Otherwise, hope you enjoy!

Warning for mention of drugs and like...a few lines of sex.

* * *

The Man Who Sold The World

The band was in full swing as Ray sat, resting his head on his hand at the empty table, knocking back his...oh, god knows what number glass of champagne.

He wasn't meaning to be a buzz kill, especially at his best friend's wedding...

But there just so happened to be another guest here that he hadn't wanted to see.

Max had warned him, and Ray understood, promising to just keep his distance and ignore him.

It's not like he ever told him what really happened between them anyway. To him, it was just an 'ugly breakup' due to... 'artistic differences'.

It had been five, coming up six years since it all ended. They hadn't seen or spoken to each other since.

He thought he could handle it. Time had moved him on, after all.

But seeing him at that church made it feel as raw and sore as if it had only happened yesterday.

He put down his glass, giving in and glancing over at him, feeling himself boil green as he watched some well-stacked blonde in a deep red bridesmaids dress draping herself on him.

...And him clearly charming the pants off her.

He scanned his eyes over him as he saw him stand up and lead whoever she was to the bar.

Time had been good to him...sort of.

He was still strikingly handsome in an unconventional way. Had his own charm.

He looked a lot thinner than he remembered...not dreadfully so, still well built, but somewhat thin a the same time.

Judging by what he reluctantly saw in papers and trashy magazines, he hadn't changed much, in that it looked like he was still using. Addicted to that and the power he'd gotten hold of.

When they were together, his company had its fingers in a lot of pies. But as he'd read a year or two ago, it'd gone and stuck a finger in the mother of all pies...

Oil.

What he had before made him look like a mere peasant compared to now.

A peasant...like him.

He let out a deep sigh as he ran his finger around the rim of his glass.

At least he was out of that life now...sure, money was a struggle and a daily concern. He worked his ass of for not much pay.

But it was honest. Unlike what he'd become when he was with him...

He still felt ashamed of himself whenever he looked back to that time. He didn't even recognise himself. He'd sold his soul for lines of white powder and a few sloppy lays.

And God knows he paid for it...

A shudder went down his spine as his mind brought him back to that night.

The insanity of their last encounter followed by the terror of having a sack shoved over his head, barely dressed and shoved in a car. Sitting in panic wondering if that was where it was all going to end for him. Only to have the sack ripped off his head as he was pushed out the car, choking on the fumes of the car exhaust as it sped away.

He'd had him thrown out at the red-light district of the city...a jab at his promiscuity, no doubt.

How he'd gotten through those initial days, he'd never know. Barely dressed, not a penny on him and being thrown out in the seediest part of town in the middle of the night with nowhere to go.

He went to the bank only to find his accounts had all been closed.

He'd sought refuge with the beautiful people he thought were his friends, only for them to act as if they didn't know him.

He couldn't bare to go crawling to his old Bladebreaker friends...let them see what he'd been reduced to.

He was left with nothing but a broken heart and crippling need for a substance he had no way of getting.

That was, until he managed to get in at a homeless shelter. Full of other people just like him. As well as a few people like Kai, just poor.

...The things he did to get his hands on a fix, he'd take with him to his grave.

Kai had said he'd ruin him. And he did.

He'd been blacklisted from everything. Took away everything he'd grown to love.

In hindsight, that was perhaps an act of mercy. Even if he hadn't meant it to be one.

After months of living in the gutter at rock bottom, the man currently dancing with his new wife came to his rescue.

To this day, he still didn't know how he'd tracked him down. Like a lot of this particular chapter in his life story, it was shrouded in unasked questions and ungiven answers.

Max brought him out of the hellhole he was living in. Brought him to his home. Made him get help, clean. After that, he helped him get a job. Helped him bring himself back to who he really was.

He'd never know how grateful he was.

If he hadn't have come...

But that was all history now.

After sinking another glass of champagne, he pushed himself out his seat, the legs scraping against the floor as his head swirled a little.

He needed some air...

He strolled himself out the bustling room and took himself to the top of the stairs leading down to the lobby.

As he began his descent, a high-pitched giggle met his ears.

He lifted his head and froze to his spot.

Well-stacked blonde latched on to the him as they came back up the stairs.

His stomach fell even further as crimson eyes met his for the first time in almost six years.

He saw his face fall as his feet continued to carry him up at a slower pace, dragged by the tipsy blonde.

As they met, he stopped. Dead silence surrounding them.

The blonde glanced between them, wondering if her new found love interest was going to introduce them.

"Who's this?" she asked in a ditsy voice.

That seemed to shake him out his daze from looking at the ghost from the past.

"...An old friend." his deep, husky voice finally answered.

Ray's brows lifted.

Friend? That came as some surprise.

He managed to tear his eyes away from him, feeling the eyes of his squeeze for the evening staring at him, waiting to be introduced.

Usually, he'd tell her to get lost. But he wanted to get laid.

He mustered up his prize winning smile and gave her his soft yet fiery eyes.

"...Why don't you go get us some drinks, hm? I'll be right up." he said in a voice so smooth it made Ray's heart flutter.

She gave him a coy, girlish smile back before peeling herself off him and taking herself up.

Silence came back as they both took each other in, both trying to compare from memory what had changed or what hadn't.

Ray gave a slight smirk.

"Been a while, huh? " he joked.

"It has..." he replied blankly.

Ray nodded, wondering what on earth he could possibly say next. His brain was giving him nothing as he got lost in those eyes he'd always adored.

"...I thought you'd died." he tried to joke with a small smirk, all the while wondering how they'd never crossed paths in all this time. As if he'd vanished off the face of the Earth, only becoming a name he sometimes saw in the media. One with no substance behind it. A phantom.

He was relieved to see a slight smirk curl at the side of his mouth.

"Me? No..."

Enjoying the almost long forgotten sound of his voice, Ray's smirk remained a few more seconds before his sense of nostalgia faded and turned more bitter. The memories of him kicking him to the curb fresh again.

"...Bet you thought the same about me, didn't you?" his voice leaked out in a low voice, looking him dead in the eyes.

He saw them glimmer with something that could perhaps be interpreted as guilt as he leaned in a little closer, not wanting to be overheard by anyone.

"You really want to bring this up here? Now?" he asked, his own voice low but calm.

Ray stuttered, tearing his eyes away from him.

"No...that's not my intent. But..." he faltered, feeling Kai tense at the 'but'.

Of course not. This was neither the time nor place.

It was just...there had never been closure.

And would he ever see him again after this?

Unlikely.

It was now or never. And he had to know.

He forced his eyes back to his, wanting to speak to them. It was the only part of him that gave him away.

"...After what happened. After all this time...did you ever wonder if I was dead or not?"

His face turned to stone while his eyes softened.

"And why would I waste my time thinking about that?" his voice rumbled out like a distant thunder.

All he could do was shrug in return.

"I guess...because you loved me once."

Even now, the past tense of that sentence stung.

The hardness in Kai's face didn't budge.

"Until you threw it all away, I did...but if you're looking for an apology, you won't find one." he bit back bitterly.

Despite the hurt that had come flooding back, he smiled slightly and shook his head again.

"I know...I owe you the apology."

Kai's eyes narrowed at him suspiciously.

"I said it then, I didn't know how it got like it did, and I still don't...I became someone else. I hurt you and treated you horribly...maybe it means nothing now, but for what it's worth, I'm sorry."

Kai leaned back slightly and shifted his shoulders, staying quiet for a moment.

"You're right...it means nothing now..." he said flatly as he looked him up and down. He looked like the Ray he'd known before it all went to shit. He looked healthy and vibrant.

Just as he'd hoped..

"But...I'm glad things worked out for you."

Ray's smile came back. That was more than he was expecting.

"Thank you...they did...I got myself clean and working my way up the restaurant ladder..." he added, not really sure why he'd tell him that.

As Kai nodded, Ray took a turn looking him up and down.

"...And...you?"

Kai folded his arms defensively and scoffed.

"Oh, I've done all right for myself."

Ray couldn't help but smirk. Still as smug and up his own ass as ever.

"So I've heard...you always said you'd rule the world one day."

Silence fell again as he braced himself to ask.

"...And...you're taking care of yourself?" he asked as he took in his slim and pale physique.

Kai cocked a brow.

"If you're referring our old habit, it's really none of your business."

Ray nodded immediately.

"Of course...sorry, I..." he stuttered.

He'd pushed too far.

Kai shifted and huffed.

This was uncomfortable.

This was painful.

This brought back too much that he'd tried his hardest to keep locked down.

"You don't need to worry about me..." he started after a few more moments of quiet, "I always know when to stop, where the limits are...wouldn't have gotten this far if I didn't."

Despite knowing deep down he still used, and feeling saddened by it, Ray knew he was telling the truth.

Kai would never let himself get to the state he'd gotten himself in. He always was very controlled and disciplined.

If only he'd been the same way...

If only he hadn't let himself go. Known when enough was enough.

He could have been sat on that throne, too.

Not for the money or the power, but because it would be beside him. Something he took for granted back then and stupidly cast to the wind along with his own moral compass.

He couldn't stop his eyes from watering.

He opened his mouth to speak, only to be interrupted by the familiar sound of a woman's voice calling Kai's name.

His crimson eyes pulled away from Ray and went up to the top of the stairs, cursing inwardly, but at the same time, somewhat relieved.

He gave her a nod that he was coming before looking back at Ray again.

He stared back.

Both of them hopelessly wishing to God they could wind the clock back. Instead, their time was up yet again.

Ray wanted to hug him. Or kiss him. Just for old time's sake...

Instead, he held out his hand.

His heart felt like it had just broken all over again, but he at least wanted to walk away with a sense of peace.

Kai looked down at it for a moment before taking it. His hands cold like they always were.

 _Cold hands, warm heart._

He always used to tell him. He never did like that.

….Screw it.

"Cold hands, warm heart." he smiled at him with a film of tears in his eyes.

They threatened to spill when he physically saw the lump catch in the other's throat.

Kai huffed a laugh back, his cold fingers still curled around his hand tightened slightly.

"God...still?"

Ray's brow furrowed as he nodded and fought to hold both his gaze and his tears.

"Still..."

His hard expression relaxed as he stared back at him for a moment before breaking the eye contact, as well as the physical, gently pulling his hand away.

He turned himself, his leg moving to resume his journey back up the stairs.

"...In another life, huh?" he said quietly before his body took him away.

Ray was caught of guard by that. Who knew something so bittersweet could cut like that.

Feeling his eyes stinging, he forced himself to breath out a slight laugh. Despite him already being several steps away from him.

"Yeh..."

Kai blew out an breath of air as he made his way to the top of the stairs, composing himself before he got back to...whoever she was.

She held out a glass and jiggled it in front of him.

"What took you so long? I missed you..." she purred.

He snatched the drink from her, tossing it back in one before painting his business smile on.

"Sorry gorgeous, old friend...been a while." he explained vaguely before feeling the a sinking feeling in the pit of his gut.

He snaked an arm around her curvaceous hips and leaned in to her ear. He knew what he needed to wash out the taste of what just happened. Thank god she was there already.

"How about we get out of here, huh?" he whispered huskily.

She grinned as she turned her face, brushing her nose with his.

"...I still have my drink..." she teased.

Kai gently took it from her hand, throwing back hers as well.

"Problem solved..."

She pouted.

"Hey...I'm thirsty..."

He let out a flirty chuckle.

"So am I..."

She giggled back and held out her hand for him to lead the way.

Meanwhile, Ray sat outside. In the dark. Just to the side of the doorway.

He wanted to go home...but he couldn't just bail on Max's wedding.

How could such a small conversation have made such a big impact?

On the bright side...when all this healed over again, as it would eventually, he could at least feel better knowing their last encounter ended on better terms...unlike the last last one...

That was something...

His ears pricked up when he heard that awful giggle again, tensing and hiding down in to the dark again as it got closer.

Within seconds, two-toned hair walked right by without even seeing him. Arm around his toy for the evening, heading towards the line of cabs.

He watched as he open the door for her before getting in himself.

The door closed. Seconds later, he was gone.

He'd probably never see him again.

He sighed heavily before heaving himself up. He had to get out of here. He couldn't sit at Max's wedding with a face like this and bring down the mood.

Max'd understand.

He made his way back up to the party, wandering aimlessly to the table through the crowd with a gazeless stare as if they weren't really there.

He picked up his jacket and looked around for Max. He was busy dancing with his wife. Naturally.

He probably wouldn't even notice, and that was fine by him.

He picked his jacket up from the back of his chair and snuck out, taking himself to the line of taxi's as Kai had minutes ago, alone.

After giving the driver the address, he slumped back in his seat, reluctantly letting his mind replay all the scenes he didn't want to watch.

Again, shame filled him at the person he'd become and the price he paid for it.

He'd survived, but thankfully, that person died a long time ago.

And Kai? Who knew.

He always knew there was a heart in there. It wasn't easy to spot, but it was there.

Finding that out was what drew him to him in the first place.

But during that time, he did get colder.

He may not have crashed as hard as he had, but he'd lost himself too, to an extent.

Had he every bounced back from it?

Or had he gotten worse as his power and fortune grew?

Again, who knew.

And he never would...

Howls of ecstasy echoed through the musty, sweaty air of the hotel room while the headboard knocked against the wall.

Now he'd fulfilled his duty, he didn't have to hold back. Pushing her legs back farther and wider to get in deeper, he thrust harder and faster to get himself off and be done with it.

With a deep grunt through his teeth and one final, deep thrust, the white flash of orgasm washed over him, giving his mind the temporary numbness it needed.

He slumped on top of her for a second, letting her legs down from his arms as they both panted and recovered.

Her hands came up, brushing her hand through his sweat-matted bangs as she lifted her head to kiss him.

He turned his away as her lips met his, rolling off her.

It didn't seem to bother her as she flopped her arms above her head.

"Wow..." she praised with a sloppy smile on her face.

He ignored her and reached for his cigarettes, sparking it up and leaning back against the headboard in a world of his own.

She sat herself up, reaching over the bed and pulling up the bottle of champagne they'd had brought up to the room.

She held it out to him.

"Drink?"

He shook his head.

"Suit yourself..." she shrugged before putting the bottle to her mouth and swigging it.

She made several more attempts to make small talk as she supped on the bottle, eventually giving up and rolling over, letting the alcohol take her to sleep.

He couldn't be bothered to wake her up and kick her out. Just after or the morning after, either one was always a pain in the ass getting them to leave. He wanted some quiet for tonight.

He lit yet another cigarette, slowly blowing out a trail of smoke.

He hadn't anticipated seeing him would have been that hard. Max warned him, and begged him to come anyway.

Idiotic as he thought he was for tying himself down like this, he really did respect him. Max was one of the very few people he considered a real friend.

He never pried or judged about what went on between them.

Even after he'd called and told him Ray was in trouble, asking him to go get him and take him in.

He'd covered the rehab bill, of course.

After seeing him tonight, it seemed Max had kept his word and not told him.

Those first weeks, he really had intended to ruin him, as he'd promised.

Those first weeks, all his did was fuel his rage with the same thing that started that whole mess. Drugs.

After a solid binge, he made himself come off. He wasn't addicted. He was a controlled user.

Sure, the comedown was rough, but so was having your heart ripped out.

He replayed that whole night over and over again in his head.

One thing really stuck out.

He'd told Ray he'd ruin him.

Ray replied, _"You already have."_

...He was right.

He was the one who opened that door for him, pushed him in.

He was the one who hadn't pulled him out before it was too late.

He'd taken the only person he'd ever loved and thrown him to a place he didn't belong...and left him there.

He had ruined him.

Yes, he was hurt and angry. Ray still cheated. Multiple times. But he wasn't entirely at fault.

Like he wasn't entirely innocent.

It took a while for his hatred to simmer down enough to be rational.

Ray was better off without him.

Ray wasn't meant to live like that.

He loved him, but they were worlds apart.

He'd made the mistake of thinking giving him everything he wanted showed love.

But really, the most loving thing he could do was let him go and never look back.

Pulling him out the gutter was his apology, even if he'd never even know it was him.

He glanced at the thing next to him in the bed as she twitched suddenly. He'd almost forgotten she was there.

He snuffed out his cigarette and carefully got out of bed. He needed to wash the smell of her off him.

He flicked the bathroom light on and stepped up to the sink, glancing in the mirror as he turned the water on, face to face with himself.

God...he looked pathetic.

He wondered if he still loved Ray. All he needed to do was look in the mirror to see the answer, apparently.

He cupped his hands and filled them with the warm water before splashing his face.

This was stupid.

He'd done his part, getting him out of trouble.

Years had passed.

It was water under the bridge now. It didn't matter.

Ray wasn't meant for that lifestyle, just like he wasn't meant for that kind.

He wasn't meant for the whole...romance thing.

He rubbed his damp hands over his wet face before pulling them down, looking back in the mirror, willing his face to exude some strength.

He was the ruler of an empire, for God's sake.

He'd gotten far. Really far. All on his own.

He'd taken things further than his stupid, small-minded grandfather could have even dreamed of.

A glint came back to his eyes.

And with some of the things he had up his sleeve, the world hadn't seen anything yet.

End

We passed upon the stair  
We spoke of was and when  
Although I wasn't there  
He said I was his friend  
Which came as a surprise  
I spoke into his eyes  
I thought you died alone  
A long long time ago

Oh no, not me  
We never lost control  
You're face to face  
With the man who sold the world

I laughed and shook his hand  
And made my way back home  
I searched for form and land  
For years and years I roamed  
I gazed a gazeless stare  
We walked a million hills  
I must have died alone  
A long, long time ago

Who knows?  
Not me  
I never lost control  
You're face to face  
With the man who sold the world

Who knows?  
Not me  
We never lost control  
You're face to face  
With the man who sold the world


End file.
